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| Wounded Heart |
I was on vacation. Granted my husband and I weren't going anywhere. Two of our kids are grown and out on their own. The other two were both at camp for the week. We decided it was a great time to stay home and spend some time together. (Although why my husband thinks that cleaning the carpets was a good choice for a vacation activity I'll never know.)
Things didn't quite work out as planned. My oldest daughter fell and hurt herself and so I ended up spending my vacation in the emergency room and in doctor's offices and at work, covering her hours. (We both work at the local library.)
I kept telling myself I should be thankful that I was on vacation so I could be there for my daughter, but I wasn't feeling any gratitude. I told myself to thankful that her accident wasn't worse and that she is recovering. I did feel a spark of gratitude for that but mostly, I am sorry to admit...
I just felt sorry for myself.
I kept thinking of these verses from Psalm 109: But you O Sovereign Lord deal well with me for your name's sake; Out of the goodness of your love deliver me. For I am poor and needy and my heart is wounded within me.
I really, really did feel poor and needy and my heart was wounded. Not a good attitude to have but I couldn't seem to shake it. Finally I just gave myself permission to be upset. My vacation was ruined and I was exhausted from worrying. So I threw a little pity party. I allowed myself a few hours to boo-hoo and be crabby. It's no wonder those kinds of parties usually only have 1 guest!
It sounds silly but it really worked. Sometimes if you can't get over something, I guess you just have to go through it. Afterwards I started to think about how supportive my daughter's friends had been and how much stress they'd saved me from. A tiny seed of gratitude sprouted.
And you know what? My day got better from there. But you aren't surprised, are you?
