Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Resting in Jesus' Lap

The second week of December I went in for my annual mammogram. I've never had any problems and as far as I know there is no history of breast cancer in my family but so many women are diagnosed every day, that I'm grateful my insurance pays for a yearly exam.

With the new digital imaging, there is no waiting until the x-rays are developed, so I'm usually in and out again in fifteen minutes. No change this year.

However, the next day I received a call from the Women's Health Care Clinic. The radiologist had seen something suspicious and wanted me to come back in for a different diagnostic mammogram. They had an opening the following day. This time I went in a little scared. So many women in our church had battled breast cancer, some several times. I prayed and tried not to worry.

After the second mammogram, I was asked to have a seat in the waiting room and the radiologist would talk to me about the results. The wait was very nerve wracking. I just kept praying and asking God to comfort me. Finally, I was called back to meet the radiologist. She smiled and then showed me some bright white spots on the screen image. She explained these were microcalcifications but she couldn't tell from the picture if they were benign or not. Her explanation is that irregular shaped spots or spots clustered in one area, such as mine, sometimes indicate cancer. She said she would need a biopsy to further assess the situation. I blinked back tears as I agreed.

Next I was asked to go back into the waiting room while they contacted my doctor to get the biopsy scheduled. Fear gripped me with tight fingers. I repeated the Lord's Prayer over and over and repeated Psalm 23 in my head. Then I began my conversation with the Lord. Isn't it wonderful that he can hear us when we are talking silently?

I told Him that I was afraid and that I could not handle this on my own. I knelt at his feet and asked him to take me on his lap and hold me. What a wonderful feeling! I felt His comforting touch and laid my head on his chest and let my worry go. I can't explain the abolute peace which overcame me as the fear washed away.

My biopsy was scheduled for a week later. During that time I didn't focus on the negative. I knew whatever happened God would be with me and all would be well. And it was. The results of the biopsy showed I have fibrocystic breasts and there is no cancer!

Resting in the arms of Jesus, I received the most wonderful Christmas present. In times of trouble He is always with me as well as in the good times.

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